Why is parenting so tough? I have no idea. What I have come to realize is that being a parent requires you to be completely unselfish, even when human nature tells you to be selfish. Simple things like putting them first, putting your wants last, making sure they are happy, keeping your vows in that marriage for the sake of them having a happy home, there is so much self sacrifice that comes with being a parent. Not to mention the children’s movies and TV shows….. so many damn shows! I mean come the fuck on?! a woman can only take so much YouTube, minecraft, call of duty, ninja fucking whatever! AAHHHHH! But we do it, we continue to unselfishly engage in annoying ass things for the sake of our children. However, children remain ungrateful little assholes! its like an abusive relationship, we give and give and give, and they basically give us the finger…. little fuckers. But you love these little fuckers. I would die and kill for my little fuckers. So where does a woman or a man learn to be this way? I think its the type of life you were given as a child. I’ve never spoken about my mother on here and while she is not perfect that woman is hell on heels. I like many other children am a product of divorced parents. My father who I loved more than anything on this planet made the stupid selfish dick decision to cheat on my mother. However I didn’t know this until many years later, at the time I was 12. And according to my parents a “child” and “children” shouldn’t know about adult problems. Well guess what assholes! I had a right to know! I spent so many years being angry at my mother for kicking my dad out of the house. I felt it was her fault I didn’t have a family. Only to find out years later, my dad was a selfish ass cheater, and I took my anger and resentment out on my mother. All I can say about that is, I was worth the truth mom and dad! I was worth the truth! So as the years went on I disliked my mother, she had a short leash on me, she was never the “cool” mom, she never let me go out and party. She was the type of mom that always called the other parents to see if they would be home, she was the type to walk me to the door. God I hated her lol!! Now looking back I see what she was doing. She loved me enough to try and keep me out of trouble, which she did. I also understand something now I didn’t back then. My mom NEVER dated when I was a pre-teen and full blown teenager. EVER. I now as a mother and after many talks with her understand her unselfish decision. My mother was very clear, she chose to NOT date any man, for the sole reason of protecting her daughter. Protecting me from what? was my initial question. The answer to her was simple, ” I was protecting you from men, perverted, sick men. The risk was too high for me. I loved you too much to allow any men around my daughter.” It was at that moment that I realized my mothers unselfishness was actually a BLESSING! And while I was ungrateful and bratty with a twist of privileged attitude, I have never in my life been more grateful to have a mother like mine. She has always chosen me first, Its something I cant ever deny. And while she still refers to me as her baby, the truth is I am, I am a complete mommas girl. And my dad, well I will always love my dad, but even as an adult I will always hold on to a bit of resentment. Something I don’t hide from anyone, the question of “dad, why did you value a piece of ass more than you did your own family?” will always be present in my mind. Guess we don’t always understand selfish ass people. He can spend the rest of his life being father of the year, best dad ever, most loving, most present dad ever. And in the end, he will always be the man that ruined my family. Love him. But he will always carry that cross, and its a heavy cross, sorry daddy. As for my mother she will continue to be a smart ass with a smart mouth, hilarious as can be, and the reason I have learned to be unselfish with my children.
“Dear momma, you’re my favorite tree.
Love, your apple”
Love you all,