Un-Divorced!? What?!

“Lord why do you hate me?!” There are the words I have been screaming for the last four days. As most of you know, my life for the last two years has been such a shit show its almost become a comedy. So let me fill you in on the newest chapter of my fucked up life! I walk into court Monday morning, the day my divorce was to be finalized or at the very least I was waiting for the judge to say “Well Mrs. L you are officially free from that douche bag, lying, dirty cheater! you may close the door to that chapter and move on!!” I’ve been waiting for those sweet words for 5 months! So I get there ready to be a free woman and instead I get…… “So sorry to inform you Mrs. L but you will have to re-serve Mr.L and re-petition the court for your divorce. Due to the residence Mr.L was living in the court cannot validate he was served properly.” (Among a few other details I cant disclose out of respect for Mr.L) So yeah… Basically have a nice day, and go fuck yourself, divorce denied. Gee thanks world! Can a bitch catch a break? At this rate i’ll be married until I hit menopause, or worse until I’m on my death bed. I shall die a woman legally bound to a man who doesn’t deserve to utter my name! And while I love him so, DAMN I just want to be a FREE woman! So I sit here thinking to myself…. what is gods plan? Or is he just bored and i’m like his little character in the Sims. I’m so close to winning the game and he’s like “nah bitch. lets re-start!” I mean why? why god why? what the hell did I ever do to you? I’m a good girl with a few bad habits i’m sure, but I’ve never killed anyone! As of now I find myself compiling a list, so when I get to meet my maker I can ask:

“Dear god, What in the fuck-a-licious Fuck?”  That basically sums up all the questions I have for him.

So today I am still a married woman, emotionally divorced, and at heart… a widow. If this is how my dirty 30 begins, I’m scared of the rest of the year. So dear Lord, Can you cut a bitch some slack? maybe? just a bit? Maybe the moral of the story for me right now is faith…. Have faith that the plan is so much bigger than I can even imagine. And continue to be happy, Because that’s one thing I refuse to give up! I love my happy!

I leave you with this my dear readers:

“Experience taught her. Hurt raised her. BUT NEITHER DEFINED HER!”



(Thank you to my favorite intern in the entire world for the title of this post! Love you B. p.s- shes single and beautiful, and in great shape, and needs a really good man in her life. serious inquiries only! send picture 😉 sorry B, I had to!)


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